Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when my recount has a
- Title
- When? Who? Where? Why?
- Sequence of events: What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
- Personal Comment: How did the events make you feel?
FIRST DRAFT
Moving time
In the afternoon it was another beautiful day at the African Savannah it is time to migrate to somewhere else if the lions pride come and attack all the big buffalos attack the lions when the calf's wait in the middle of the herd.
I saw the calf in the dirty water
I saw the calf if it came near the bank I Will eat the calf to shreds.
When i was hovering around the water, til i soer the lion bas up to attack the baby buffalo and when the baby buffalo was running from the lion the lion jumped up and got the baby buffalo.
It was my worse lunch day ever because the lions was taking the crocodile lunch from the drug war so the crocodile did get his lunch.I
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWilliam, I really like the way you started your story with ‘it was another beautiful day at the African Savannah’. Make sure you check your spaces because you have done a double space. This could help me the start of my stories.
ReplyDelete